I'm so lonely and confused

At times I pride myself on being an anti-social bitch! But there are other times when I look around me and see so many people who have so many friends and are never lonely and I wonder what I am doing wrong. I admit I am moody but there are other people out there who are just as moody as me and they have friends. I have tried to be the type of person who doesn't need people because of the way I have been treated in the past. Every friend I have ever had has either abandoned me or hurt me horribly! I admit I was a sensitive kid and probably the things that were done to me would not affect a "normal" person, but they did affect me! I was bullied, picked on, teased, ridiculed, and mocked at almost every turn by everyone I trusted up until around 8th grade. I still remember the things that were said and done and even now it brings tears to my eyes. A few years ago a girl I went to middel school and highschool with who happened to be one of the girls who picked on me, but I still considered a friend, wanted to hang out and talk and even offered to apologize for how she used to treat me. I avoided her like the plague after our one meeting; not because I didn't like her but because I was afraid to hear her apology because it would make me wonder why she did what she did and if it was something i did that made her treat me that way. If I had done something wrong to all those people to make them dislike me on a certain level. I now realize it has to be me otherwise why am I 24yrs old and alone?
JSTRKDJAPDI

Politcally Incorrect

Sorry this might be politically incorrect but I understand why the Chinese traded Yang Peiyi in for Lin Miaoke. I didn't even watch the opening ceremony just have seen pictures and I am already in love with Lin. Sorry guys she's just cuter. What do you know the Chinese are more western than we thought. It is quite hypocritical for media outlet's to be bashing the Chinese for picking a cuter girl to sing "Hymn To The Motherland" when that same media kisses the ass of pretty people everyday. Why else is Paris Hilton famous? Why does Pamela Anderson still have a career when she has no talent? Why is Barack Obama getting more media coverage than John McCain? And why is Caylee Anthony getting all this news coverage of her disappearance, possible death, when there are thousands of other little kid's missing throughout this country? Same for that little British girl, Madeline. Why was Britney Spears a bigger star than Christina Aguilera? Could it be that Britney was cuter despite the fact that she couldn't sing that well. Say it with me, it's because of the way they look. And let's all be honest Yang Peiyi needs braces, that's the first thing you see when you see her teeth. It might be a bit**y thing to say but hey I never denied I was a bit**. I think they both are cute but Lin just happens to be cuter.

Anime...yaoi...Junjo Romantica

Ladies and genthe....well maybe just the ladeis because the guys might be grossed out. Introducing Usami/Usagi and Misaki: Aren't they just too hott for words? Usami is the older and clearly taller one and Misaki is the smaller one with the dark brown hair. They are from the anime Junjo Romantica and they are AWESOME! Thank gawd for YouTube or I would never have discovered these two. Oh how I love Junjo Romantica; or I will until the writers do something stupid like break these two up forever! Then someone will get hurt. But until then, Usami is 28 a chain smoker(whoooooooo) a successful writer and he also freakin graduated from Law School. Seriously WTF way to make the rest of us 20+year olds feel like crap. He's totally hott and not only does he write novels but he also writes boylove books; how hilarious that they put a yaoi writer in a yaoi written story.

The best and funniest thing about this guy is that he is 28 and has toys and teddy bears throughout his room. Poor guy had a bad childhood and he is trying to get it back now that he is on his own and has the money to do so. Usami is originally in love with Misaki's brother Sir "Who gives a f** who I am"....ok his real name is Takahiro but I could really give a crap about this guy. He is so in love with him tha the puts him in his boylove books which pisses off Misaki who throws a hissy fit. Misaki is all like "blahblahblah..leave my innocent brother alone, get another guy any guy will do..." and Usami, who is very cranky when he wakes up, figures if any guy will do how bout you; throws Misaki on the bed and...proceeds in some...hand action. The aftermath is pretty funny to me. BTW Misaki is 18 ten years younger than Usami and Hiro.

Stuff happens blablahblah who cares, Hiro ends up engaged to a girl Usami, who Misaki calls Usagi, is a little heart broken but when he sees how much Misaki reacts to Hiro being so insensitive to Usami's feelings he cries for him prompting Usami to kiss him and realize he doesn't want Takahiro he wants Misaki instead. A little freaky to go from one brother to the next so fast but I'm going to say awwwwwwwwww anyway.

These two don't officially get together until like the fourth episode but until then there is kissing, groping, and "mouth action" if you know what I mean. If you don't know you probably shouldn't be reading this anyway. Like most of these BoyxBoy stories I have seen there always has to be one in the relationship who is a little iffy about the sexual aspect of things yet that never stops them from taking part in them. In this relationship it is Misaki who has a tendency to protest when things are about to go to another level, then ends up enjoying the action on that level, then later wondering wtf he just did. There are some pretty annoying things in this anime, one of them being that in episode two Usami clearly got jealous of Misaki's relationship with a fellow classmate and essentially told Misaki he cared about him; then the next thing you know Misaki is worried that Usami is having some form of relationship with his pretty female editor. Ok seriously I know he is 18 but how can he be that dense; even if Usami's feelings weren't clear Misaki had to know which team he played on because he keeps trying to molest the boy everytime they are around each other. How many times does a guy have to put his tongue down your throat, give you "manual" and "oral" labor before you get the message that he might kinda like you!

BTW there is apparently two other couples in this story but I didn't give a crap about them and I don't know what's going on with them. You'll have to check out the series on YouTube to see what they are about.

Randomness

I have to go to bed early today because I have to get up at 6am tomorrow for my job! Damn bastards! I hate waking up so early and you sure don't want to be around me when I have to wake up that early either, I am not a nice person. Plus I have to drive to work and I am hoping I don't get road rage and take someone out! I like my new car but I need places to take it, my freakin life is so boring and I do nothing all day. Tomorrow is Friday and the best thing about it is I don't have to work and talk to the girls who are planning the fun they are going to have over the weekend. Yes you are younger than me and have done more with your life, thanx for reminding me. Speaking of my job, I am on the verge of taking a few people out. One of them is a person I work with the rest are the customer's who are pigs and mess up all the areas we have cleaned and tried to make look nice and presentable for everyone. And within a few days the bastards fu** up our work. I know my momma taught me better than that. Its gotten so bad that we had to start locking merchandise together so we won't end up losing it because the customer's just leave crap lying around!

BTW Totally off topic but I did name this post Randomness but has anyone ever gotten scared by watching a Scooby Doo episode?

WOOOOOOOOOOO I just heard a loud clap of thunder that mean's it's going to RAIN!!!!!

Inspired by a friend

This has been inspired by another JB Concert experience I read about on a blog by the person who is named in the subject. Mine is not as good as hers because I was in the back not in the front. First let me state that I learned the hard way that if you ever want to buy concert tickets do not leave the house, stay your butt at home and use the internet. Those darn JB tickets sold on in 2mins, or that was what I initially was told but at around 12:50 I got my ticket so obviously some1 was lying. By the time I got someone on the phone who was willing to sell me a ticket I would be happy with being newhere as long as I was there. So my seat was at the uppermost balcony which was pretty far, but luckily I had the forethought to bring binoculars. There was a mother to the left of me and a mother to the right of me and they had little girls with them. I was hoping they thought I was about 20 and not a 24yr old dying to see a JB concet. I did want to smack the little girls to the right of me for a little while because they kept screaming down to sum1 in floor seats to look up at them. The first few times its cute, around 5 or 6 you want to throw them over the balcony. So Rooney was the opening act and they kicked major ass. The audience was very responsive to them and wasn't rude like screaming "Jonas Brothers" when Rooney was on, and we all were really feeling their music. After Rooney it was about 15mins b4 JB came out and the girls on the floor kept screaming every 5mins like something exciting was happening and that really got annoying after awhile. Seriously take your butt to the bathroom or go buy some cotton candy or something. Then its was JBs turn and I must admit that even though the stage they were on was not their normal stage the videos they showed were still pretty good even though we couldnt really see them beause they were on a little sheet. I'm not going to describe the video because either A) You've seen it at your own concert or B) you saw it on Youtube. They opened with Year 3000 and I think I am the only JB fan who really does not like that song; I'm more of a Kids of the Future girl. I was very surprised that they put on a really great show; its 2 on my list of great concerts I have been to with Nsycn at 1. JB plays really great music, had a really pretty stage, Im such a girl I like lots of colors and designs, and Joe is a really good front man. His energy level like stays at 10 for the entire concert. Like I said earlier I had binoculars and I spent about 80% of the concert following Joe around with the binoculars, 18% following Kevin and 2% checking out Nick. I'm a Jevin what can I say. Some memorable moments I can actually remember is when they were introducing themselves and Joe made fun of the audience for screaming the loudest for Nick; I sometimes wonder if Joe is a little jealous. Poor baby so has middle child syndrome. Then this one chick in the front left gave Joe a rose, like he wasnt busy and was just going to be "Hey what's up honey thanks for the rose, its not like I can't do anything with this thing because I am putting on a concert" So she kept reaching to give it to her and he finally took it and threw it to the back of the stage area so some1 could pick it up. I hope she didn't get her feelings hurt, I'm sure he liked it he just couldn't really do anything with it at the time. Have you seen this boy perform? He kinda needs both of his hands, one to hold the mic and the other one to break his fall. Joke he didnt fall at my concert, but he did loose his shoe. I'll get to that later. Nick came out and did his little talk before he started playing the piano. The only thing I remember from that speech is that he said their grandfather was here and that he was in the back of the theatre. I think he called him Papap or something weird like that. It was almost 4months ago and my brain doesn't remember. Of course everyone said Hi because Nick told them to. Kevin tried to do his SOS dance but he forgot to throw his guitar to his back so he couldn't get really into it. During SOS Joe tried to do his splits and when he jumped back up he lost his shoe. It was really funny, he just calmly put it back w/o missing a beat. I thought originally he was wearing white sneakers at these shows, but after that incident I realized that they are these really weird looking shoes that I hate and can't stand that they are making a major comeback. I hated those things when my parents made me wear them when I was a kid. During SOS I thought everyone on the balcony was going to die. There was a bunch of girls who kept jumping up and down and the entire balcony was shaking and I swear I thought the thing was going to fall! I was preparing myself for a trip to the hospital because although I thought we were in danger, you know I wasn't leaving early! Then I looked over the edge, that's where I was btw right at the edge of the balcony, and I realized that there was another balcony under us and I said "Hey ok, we're just going to get hurt. Those people down there are going to die. Sweet I can relax now"
In conclusion I was a little disappointed they didn't sing Kids of the Future and really angry that they no longer sing Inseparable at their concerts! Whose idea was it to stop performing that song?! If they sing it on the Burning Up tour I will track them down so I can personally kick them in the shins.
Best Dressed Awards: Black outfits 1) Joe although I really am not feeling that gold jacket. But when he is just wearing the black t-shirt and jeans with white shoes, I just got thoughts that I will not express here. 2) Kevin, that was a sweet outfit and seems like it took the most time to put together. Kevin is maintaining his "I like to dress up" persona. 3) Nick, he was there so I have to list him although I didnt like his outfit. White outfits 1) Kevin, It was hard to choose between Joe and Kevin with this one, but the gold stripes up Joe's jeans and his gold tie gave Kevin the edge. Kevin's black on white on black was real sweet. Plus his shirt was v-neck only Mufasa Momma's will get why that's important. 2) Joe, if he busted out with only the tank top at my concert he would have won that hands down. But I did think the white and gold was nice IF the shirt was not tucked in. 3) Nick, his outfit seemed the simplest but it still looked very nice before and after he ripped the sleeves off.

Well that sucked!!!!

Well in case you didn't know I am a fan of The Jonas Brothers so they were on the Teen Choice Awards last night and I got dragged into watching it. I think that show came out like in 1999 or 2000 and I immediately knew it was going to suck because they give out surfboards for the awards. What kind of idiot came up with that crap? Even the freakin Kid's Choice Awards on Nickelodeon have better awards than this sh**! Well anyway the Jonas Brothers were there so I had to watch, it was a complete waste of my time and my DVR's time. Ask The Jonas Brother's section was downright stupid! I am so sick of these idiot fans asking the same stupid questions over and over again! If I am annoyed by it I can't imagine how pissed they must be especially Joe"pms"Jonas. Apart from that ACDC totally won that dance off, I didn't watch the groups dance but at the end when Fergie told the audience to clap for who they wanted to win ACDC won it; the only reason they gave it to M*M was because Miley was there and they didn't want to embarass their host. I really didn't pay too much attention to Miley, I know she performed at the beginning but I kinda blocked it out. The one thing I will say about her is her hair is fantastic and it was nice to see her not pulling up her shirt trying to look sexy. Miley swettie you are 15yrs old and the only people who find you hott are 15yr old boys who think there can't possibly be breast any bigger than Miley's...they are not the Pamela Anderson/Carmen Electra generation so they are still in the dark atleast for a few more months until the next buxom teenager emerges. Speaking of wannabe sexy Vanessa Hudgens looked great! Best dressed imo, don't know why she wasn't sitting with Zac though. I felt so bad seeing her and Jesse there because their albums flopped. The poor babies. WIth Jesse I am especially shocked because he had a hit with Leavin.