CHIPPENDALES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good gawd I saw Chippendales perform on Wednesday of this week. Good gawd "I'm in love with a stripper"! Or maybe 4 strippers.

This is one of them, the only one that I liked whose name I could actually find. While I was there I just referred to him as the one with the tattoo on his back. Thank you Steve Kim for putting your videos on Youtube otherwise I would never have known his name.

Half the time I was there I was embarrassed because of my gender, good gawd we can no longer call men dogs because we lose all our class and inhibitions alcohol or no alcohol. I admit I went a little bit crazy but not psycho, I was just chasing the man above around the club floor as he got groped by non stop women. I was checking out his tattoo as well and kept touching it. I am such a tat addict now. Then I was purposely getting in there way when they ran off the stage so they would have to ask me to move and one of them touched me on the back so he could move me out of the way. HAHA SWEET! Lord knows who it was, I didn't bring my camera(like the idiot I am) and I left my phone in the car! I had to go CIA to find the guy in the picture, once again thank you Steve. The friend I went with liked Elvin, or she did until he copped an attitude with her. I'll have to ask if he's still feeling him. One of them also complimented by breast...all I said was thank you but what I really should have said is you can touch them if I can touch yours. Oh why did God give me intelligence but no people skills?

After Wednesday I will no longer go gay for Katherine or Portia, I'm still questioning my stance on Natalie Portman though. After seeing a bunch of naked guys running around I realized that I can be nothing but strictly dickly baby. Thank God I didn't drink anything or I would have turned into a total slut and done god knows what with some of them....

Oh also after Wednesday I have also decided that I am going to lose weight!

Lois and Clark

Clark Kent on Smallville is a bastard, a pussy whipped idiot, a whiner and a god damn brat! I officially hate that mother fucker more than I have hated anyone else on that show. I don't even hate Lana as much as I hate Clark. I do not know who to be more made at, Clark the fictional character, or the real writers who come up with this crap that we have to watch! On Thursday when Power aired I was fuming; now I have let the anger simmer down a little...very little. Lois Lane(btw I hate the name Lois) is too damn good for Clark Kent. His obsession with Lana Lang is dangerous and sickening. He nearly kisses Lois one day then as soon as Lana shows up he completely forgets about her, oh hell no! Lois deserves so much better and she should go out there and find it. These bastard writers better not have her come back still feeling all gooey about Clark; she better have seen him for what he truly is and is ready to move on. Lois needs a man and Clark is nothing more than a boy in a man's body.

My day so far...

Right now I am listening to Usher's "Confessions". I just got done with a ride back to the 90's and was listening to Tevin Campbell, BoyzIIMen, Shai, En Vouge, Immature. Man I miss the 90s! Does anyone else out there think the 90s were much better than the 21st century? So far the only thing that can be used to describe this new decade is George Bush and terrorist. Oh how I miss Clinton and his cigar play with interns. I really need to get off my lazy ass and find me a job, I want to work I just don't want to go through the process of having to find a job, it gives me even worse of a headache than I already have. It's the same thing with guys and girls, I want to date I just don't want to get off my ass and put myself out there. Plus I have too much emotional baggage to trust anybody. I also must say that I am still pissed off that for me to get into grad school I have to take that damn GRE! I cannot take those kind of tests, I screwed up on the SATs so horribly that I refuse to tell anybody what the score was.
Someone want to tell me what the hell HD is? Rents got a gigantic tv with an HD box, how its different from my DVR is anyone's guess. I am not into technology at all, I got my first iPod last year; I definitely fit the stereotype of the ditzy girl when it comes to technology. I do know I want a blackberry and a smaller prettier laptop and a sidekick. I need to get me some rich friends or a rich boyfriend to buy these things for me.

Angelina and Brad

I have decided to take Angelina Jolie off of my Hoe's of Hollywood list and it is all thanks to Jennifer Aniston. She has made me believe that Angelina and Brad did not have an affair while he was still married to Jennifer. It's clear they had feelings but if the situation happened how I think it happened I have more respect for all three involved. If you have feelings for a married man or a man involved in a relationship, step aside and let him and his significant other figure things out, then when that is done you can step back in. Clearly Jennifer and Angelina are never going to be best friends, but I do not believe anymore that Angelina stole Brad from her. So the new #1 Hoe of Hollywood is Tori Spelling.

Why Nick Jonas?

I have tried for over a year to figure out why Nick Jonas is the favorite of the Jonas Brothers, and I still don't see it. Is it just because of his age? He's the closest in age to their fan base as opposed to Kevin and Joe who are already adults? I usually get why the favorite is the favorite even though I don't like them; I got why everyone loved Taylor Hanson, Nick Carter, Justin Timberlake, Ashley Parker Angel, heck I even got why everyone loved Ginger Spice! But I don't see it with Nick and the only thing I can guess is it has to be his age because Kevin and Joe are so much better looking than him. Yes I admit Kevin and Joe are the one's I favor but no matter who my favorite was in a flash in the pan teen idol group I still understood why the favorite was the favorite...I don't see it with Nick. Kevin is sometimes cute sometimes downright sexy and plus he is a white boy with a big butt! How that happened I will never know. Besides the physical he is also the one who seems to be the nicest with the most consistent personality(can't really expect that from Nick he's only 16). Joe is the hott exotic looking one. I've hung out at JB forums and he is the one who is usually joked about being adopted because he looks so different from the other 2 and his parents(actually he looks like his dad). I think these jokes occur so much because he straightens his hair and has tan skin. If the Jonas Brothers weren't the Jonas Brothers and just were normal kids at my school I would gawk at Joe, be attracted to Kevin if he sat next to me in class and I got to joke around with him and just not even notice Nick. Please someone explain this attraction to him? Even Kim Kardashian thinks he's cute! Am I just blind? I could list the things that cause me to not find him appealing but I remember he is only a 16yr old kid and why would I want hin to ever see such a thing about him...not that they would come to this blog but I would never even give him a chance to see it.
I'm not saying I don't like Nick, I like all three of them, I just really want to understand why the majority of girls are so taken with him because I honestly don't get it and there is no vindictiveness in my questioning.

Keeps Gettin Better? No..no it doesn't

Just saw Christina Aguilera's video for "Keeps Gettin Better". Who the hell came up with the crap?!?! It is gawd awful, no wonder the single flopped. The video doesn't make any sense which would be easier to endure if it was actually a good video. It's half high tech/futuristic b.s. and half I'm just going to be lazy. Who ever directed it should go back to school and find a new career. And what was up with her wannabe skankerella CatWoman...damn Christina I know you have bad taste in almost everything but couldn't you have come up with a better costume? I've seen more attractive one's in WalMart at Halloween. I haven't seen such a bad futuristic video since BSB's Larger Than Life. How did she fall so far from such a great video as "Hurt" to this crap!!!! I guess it hits me so hard because I actually liked the song.

Chicks I'd Go Gay For

I have had two on this list for a long time so now I am adding a third, I can't believe I forgot her because she was actually the first.

1.Natalie Portman!

She is truly one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Her face is borderline perfect. She is so beautiful and attractive it is not even funny. And how can you not love a girl with a brain. She went to freakin HARVARD to get a degree in psychology while at the same time working. That is something to admire. I also love the fact that she is comfortable in her own body; let's be honest homegirl is flat chested and she doesn't give a damn. She knows she's still got it going on. BTW how did such a skinny petite girl get such a big booty?!?!? I think I fell in love with Natalie around the time of Where the Heart Is; she didn't become #1 on my "Women I'd Go Gay For" list until Closer.

2. Portia deRossi Talk about perfection in the physical form. Who the heck knows how her personality is although I'm sure her wife does. There is a strong possibility that I am in love with the idea of Portia rather than the symbol of Portia, because really no fan can truly be in love with the person. I think I fell in love with her when I saw the pictures of her at her wedding. She just looked so beautiful and happy how can you not love her. I hope the Hollywood scene and the media does not try to break her and Ellen up like they do with every other Hollywood couple who has uneven success...Reese and Ryan for example.

3. Katherine Moenning

Yes despite how she looks, she is really a she. And I am not one of those Johnny Come Latelys who only likes her because of Shane, or as I call her Brian with a vagina. I liked her way back when she was on Young Americans as Jake. Too bad I threw that tape away should have kept it if only to see her. Kate is the poster child for androgyny. Even after all these years I still look at her and find myself thinking, could she actually be a boy. Just a few days ago I was looking at pictures of her and she really looked like a male. There are tons of male actors who are so pretty that if you put them in a dress and makeup you wouldn't know they were guys...Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio, Orlando Bloom...but Katherine doesn't have to try to look male or female. She just wakes up and walks around and you can't help but wonder. Even her voice wouldn't give it away because it is equally deep and high enough to be put into the Demi Moore, Scarlette Johansson category. I think God was having the time of his life creating Kate because everything about her can be found attractive by girls and guys, she truly is a work of art in a different way than Natalie Portman is. Loved this girl since the early 2000's and I love her still. Too bad I can't stomach watching The L Word.

LoveBug not so much

It's official, I do not like the Jonas Brothers video LoveBug. Yes it took me over a month to come to this conclusion. The video is borderline boring and creepy. There is just something so unappealing about these three guys hanging around this one married couple! Jeeze atleast bring your own date or something. There is just something about that scenario that creeps me out. Then there is not enough Kevin, I understand Joe and Nick sing the leads, but they still could have put more Kevin in there! I am pretty sure that it is just me who doesn't like these things and I understand that I am being nitpicky, but I just can't get passed it and the video is a dud to me.

Oh Hellz To the Naw

I have kept my mouth shut for far to long and I now have to get out my discontent! How the hell can so many people find Gisele Bundchen so attractive and insist she is so beautiful and the best supermodel out there! I don't mean to say she is ugly but she is nothing compared to Adriana Lima or Heidi Klum or any other super model.









On top of that there was some idiot white girl who insisted it was Gisele who shattered the model of stick thin being in for models. HELLO!!!! Gisele is stick thin when compared to Tyra Banks who was the real supermodel who destroyed that mold! Tyra never did have much of a booty but she definitely had more boobs than Gisele could ever wish to hope for, Heidi also is another model who was blessed with cleavage and wasn't a rail thin supermodel. Gisele is more plain than anything else imo and I truly want to know what the hell people find so appealing about her! I've seen girls on America's Next Top Model who are better looking than her. I understand that models aren't always supposed to be beautiful but have a unique look...There is one black model who is butt ugly, I think she is from Africa and she has the biggest cheeks I have ever seen. As a black woman I can't even bring myself to support that chick! But hey we still have Tyra, Naomi(who needs to be in jail) and Iman who gets more beautiful with age!
I'm just tired of the Gisele love fest and had to get it out what an uninspiring beauty I find her to be. It's nothing personal against her, I just think she is overrated.
Adriana if you are out there...your mystique, your eyes, your body, the entire package walks circles around Gisele.

Shut the he11 up Nancy Grace!

I like most normal human beings hates the thought of something horrible happening to a child; and I still want to know what happened to Callie(sp) Anthony just as much as the next person. But why the he11 does Nancy Grace have to talk about that damn case every freakin day for over a month!?!?! It's getting extremely annoying, so annoying that I have had to stop watchin the woman. Yes it's sad what's going on but is she really the only missing child out there? Most of the time she just has the same crap on every show and/or people giving their opinions. It makes me almost not care about what is going on anymore; there is such a thing as over kill Mrs. Grace! Yes Casey liked, yes she keeps getting put in and out of jail, yes her mother is either in denial, an accomplice or an idiot, and probably something bad happened to Callie. But for the love of Gawd stop talking about it non-stop especially when nothing substantial is happening!

Conservative Bitch Slap

I once was a very big fan of Elizabeth Hasselbeck; I used to feel sorry that there were so many liberals against one conservative. Even when she said stupid crap which made all conservatives look back I still gave her a break. I was 100% on her side during the Rosie O'Donnel throw down and though she was totally in the right. But lately she has been getting on my last nerve. For some reason she all of a sudden thinks that she is the queen of the table simply because she made Bully Rosie run and hide. She has no more respect for anyone's opinion who does not agree with her and essentially she has turned into a real "b". She puts too much emotion in her arguments which should be able to stand on their own without her getting personal or turning into an immature whiner who has to revert to grade school antics to try to throw her opponent off. There was no reason for her to be so rude to Barbara Walter's yesterday; I don't even like Barbara and I love the days when she is not there. But Elizabeth looked like a child who needed a time out when she tried to ignore Barbara's question about why Sarah Palin is qualified. There was no reason to be that way and she looked stupid. The only two hardliners on that panel are Joy and Elizabeth; Whoopi tends to lean to the left but she at least tries to hear other people's opinion then make a judgement. Sherry jumps back and forth which to me proves she is in the middle and isn't going to make a decision until she has all the facts; and Barbara tries to keep things balanced. So why the he11 would Elizabeth lash out at her? On top of that she supports the republicans blindly and I don't like people like that. If your side screws up you should admit it not make excuses for it. I wouldn't mind if they fired Elizabeth or if she quit and they brought in another conservative who actually had some concrete facts to support her arguments. I wonder if they have Anne Coulter's #

Ugly a** shoes

Why the hell are these ugly ass shoes made a comeback? I usually just call them converse; but they are actually Chuck Taylor All Stars. There are actually some quite attractive converse shoes out there........(see below)

.......but these monstrosities are locked in my brain. Why is this hideous shoe so popular? I work in a shoe department and I have to see these ugly shoes everyday. What shocks me is that everyone wants them for their kids? These shoes are hideous! Not only do kid's want them but I have been seeing them a lot at the University. Who is telling these people that these ugly things are cute and fashionable? What's next is the jerrycurl or mullet going to be making its way down the runway? I remeber having these shoes when I was in middle school, and I think I recall having the knowledge that they were retro; but now not only did they make a comeback in the 90's but now the next generation of teenagers if falling under the ugly spell! Oh the hummanity; I will never have children for fear I will one day have to buy them a pair of these.

But oh wait, converse aren't the ugliest shoes out there, these are

I see these ugly things on the feet of the adults at my school more than the converse on the kids. I also used to wear these shoes when I was younger but that was because my parents made me. Even when I was six I knew they were butt ugly. The first time I realized they were making a comeback was when I saw them on the feet of one of those twins on the Suite Life of Zack and Cody. I never watched the show again because it was obvious everyone involved had no sense because of those butt ugly shoes. But I see these things on the feet of everyone, male and female. WHY! Everytime I see them at school I want to bumrush the person wearing them, rip their shoes off and throw them in a furnace. I saw some dude loungin on the library wall with his feet up and guess what he had on? These ugly a**shoes!!!!!!!!!! One of these days I am just going to snap and blurt out; "Those are the ugliest shoes I have ever seen in my life and why the he11 are you wearing them?" Now don't get me wrong, I am not one of those conceited, arrogant, fashion experts who thinks they can get away with critiquing everything everyone wears. He11 they don't even keep

it to celebrities anymore, now they go into peoples homes and drag them on TV and tell them their clothes suck. I am not that person, I say wear what you want and lord knows my wardrobe could put a question mark over somebody's head. I just cannot stand these shoes and I had to get my feelings out. I work in a shoe department, I see this crap everyday and I could not keep silent anymore. They are some ugly a** shoes and out of all the shoe styles in the world these are the only two that grate on my nerves and make me want to pull my hair out. I can stomach the all white sneakers, the $500 stiletto heels, the too short to be remotely attractive heels, the million dollar diamond shoes some chick wore to the oscars, the uggs, those freaky shoes with wheels on the bottom or the shoes that light up. But I will not keep silent about the curse on humanity that are Converse and Vans...

7 Things...

.... I Like About Miley Cyrus
1. Her hair
2. Her eyes
3. Her clothes
4. Fly on the Wall
5. Nobody's Perfect
6. She hates Hannah Montana as much as I do
7. Her interviews with Ryan Seacrest

....I Hate About Miley Cyrus
1. Her signging voice
2. She doesn't know when to shut up
3."I have big boobs and curves" (I'm still looking for those things with a magnifying glass)
4. The Vanity Fair cover and the fact that her and her family lied about it
5. The picture of her lying across her dad's lap was just disturbing
6. She's too stupid to know not to take pictures of yourself doing something stupid ESPECIALLY when you are famous
And the 7th Thing I hate the most that you do...
-You made me like you

VMAs 2008

Was the year of Britney Spears!!!!!!!!!!

I love that girl, and the funny thing is I didnt love her until everyone started to hate her. She looked freakin awesome tonight!!!!!!! Like the Britney of 2000; for a second I forgot this was the girl who shaved her head, flashed her vajayjay 3x, lost custody of hers kids, was strapped to a gurney and put into the psych ward two times in a month. Looking at her tonight it was like all that never happened. I personally do not think she should have gotten one award least of all three. Piece of Me was just not a good video and the fact that they gave her three awards for it, especially Video of the Year! makes it look like it was all staged or done out of pity. The girl definitely deserves to have some VMAs but for Toxic, Stronger, Everytime, Ooops...I Did It Again! Not Piece of Me which was a cheaply put together video she was forced to do by her record label. It seemed that after the second time she went on stage people were kinda getting pissed that she was winning all of these. But at the beginning it made me cry that she got a standing ovation from the crowd when she first walked out. It reminded me of that time about a decade ago when Gloria Estefan went out on stage at an awards show after she was almost paralyzed because of that accident. Of course Britney's situation is nowhere near like that, but that is what it reminded me of.
Ok enough about Britney, for now,

The host...I think his name is Russel Brand but Im not sure. I call him The British Guy, was really good. He was the best host I have seen since Chris Rock in 1999; although I have not seen a VMA show since 1999. Neway I thought he was funny, his attitude was fantastic and he was willing to make fun of himself. I say bring him back. Although I am wondering has there ever been a female who hosted the VMAs? I have to look into that, someone might need a can of whoop ass opened on them. He was great and besides Britney he made the show for me.
Second Christina Aguilera was good, she looked good and she sounded good and she had the most memorable performance for me. A lot of guys I know were too distracted by her breast to pay any attention. I liked the song and the performance one of her best I have seen though I admit I dont really pay that much attention to her. Unfortunately when it comes to MTV she usually gets overshadowed by Britney. This year for me it was not so, yeah it was Brits night but Christina owned the stage.
The Jonas Brothers on the other hand were not very good. I have been to one of their concerts and they sounded decent. I just can't understand why at every tv appearance they do they sound horrible. Tonight it was like they couldnt carry a note to save their lives. Nick used to have a fantastic voice but puderty has really screwed him over and its rather sad if you think about it. Joe now has the best voice. I think they picked the wrong song to perform and they definitely need some voice lessons. Let it be known that I do still like the guys, its just they need some help in the singing department.
Also I must say how happy I am that no Disney Star won an award. I like Miley, The Jonas Brothers, HSM(hate HSM II) but they do not belong on MTV. Stay on your squeaky clean, bubbles and pink baloons Disney channel and leave MTV to the big dogs. And what was up with some of them trying to dress and act like they belong there i.e. the HSM cast. I know they are in there 20s but age doesnt change that you sold your soul to the Disney devil and now you have to live with it. Your bubble gum, MTV is hard edge. Your homecoming, MTV is a Rave still going on at 3am.